Ever have the feeling that the whole world misunderstands you? It is not uncommon. There are a lot of situations where a conversation just seems to disconnected. Words pass each other like strangers in the night and paraphrasing is simply repeating the same misunderstanding. But I am not just talking about conversations between people. This happens with our inner narrative too. There is this overwhelming yelling that floods our brains with ‘can’ts’. You can’t be a great author. You can’t be a singer. You can’t be good at maths. You can’t get that promotion. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t. And underneath this yelling, little more than a whisper, is the cans. You can be a great author. You can be a singer. You can be good at maths. You can get that promotion.
Why is it that we don’t hear the cans? Why are the can’ts so loud?? Because it’s easier not to try. It is easier to wallow in your comfort zone and listen to the can’ts. What if we fail? What if it takes too much effort? What if success is too much hard work?
So we have an inner dialogue that is filled with ‘what ifs’ and ‘can’ts’ and we try to be happy with that. We try to settle and we try to just get on with it. But by doing that we are building an inner pressure. You can’t confine unhappiness. It seeps out and infects the people around you. Worse still it could explode out of you and damage everything you come in contact with.
You begin to look for other people as miserable as you so that you can vent the sadness, but that only multiplies your frustration! Two people bubbling with the injustices of their lives only end up doubling their resentment.
Wouldn’t it just be easier to fill your head with ‘cans’? Wouldn’t you be better off trying than wondering what would happen if you try? So I suppose what I’m really asking is, ‘Why settle for misery?’.